Oh, Permalink: My Anthology, poetry: Paper Screams
I’m finally putting the book together. You can help by visiting the site and leaving your suggestions!
found this while trying to clean up my computer today.
I didn’t get much cleaning done, but I guess my finding was well done.
Date: Fri, 15 Aug 2003 10:18:55 -0700 (PST)
Now that I’ve come around to seeing the light, I’ll
try to define some stuff about me and what I see as
good moves in the right direction.
1. Firstly, I am not only proud that I have found
Christ, but I am deeply humbled, which should come as
no surprise to any of you who have known me during my
2. I greatly desire some way to incorporate the past
12 years of experiences I’ve collected into
identifying with this relationship to God and
Christians. I don’t want to look back and find that
all my intellectual pursuits have been a complete
waste of time.
3. I want to continue my education in a manner that
is still challenging and broad. I want to approach it
from the eyes of a Christian.
4. My history is of pride, selfishness and control.
I need to face these things. I expect to continue
facing them for a long time. Experience has shown me
so far that these three things are seriously
challenging. They are also the source of my long
denial of the Faith.
These four statements, I think, should be broad enough
that I’m not “pinning down” my plans. I want to start
off on the right foot, allowing God to guide me in the
right direction as I know is right.
Thanks for all the congrats and thank you all even
more for the prayer, love and acceptance you have
offered during my self-imposed exile. You provided me
the last key to all this in your examples. God was
willing to accept me back into his arms, and you
reflected it, in some cases daily.
That was written about 4 years and 7 months ago.
I’ve discovered new weaknesses and sins.
I’ve definitely broadened my education.
I’m vastly more humbled (and more, daily) at my condition.
I’ve found that my past is very different in meaning and significance now, especially when compared to now.
The exultant joyful feeling has mellowed.
The love has made me a totally different person.
The ability to find forgiveness is inexplicably wonderful.
So is the Lord’s grace in enabling me to repent.
I am my family’s husband and father as I never was before the fourteenth of August, four years ago.
I have had four years and seven months of working to glorify God and enjoy Him.
It’s been rough, and it’s been easy, but I won’t trade those years for anything.
OBTW: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HEATHER: CLICK THE KAKE
(not that one! THIS one: KAKE)