Show and Tell 15AUG03 Time Travel

Oh, Permalink: My Anthology, poetry: Paper Screams

I’m finally putting the book together. You can help by visiting the site and leaving your suggestions!



found this while trying to clean up my computer today.

I didn’t get much cleaning done, but I guess my finding was well done.

Date: Fri, 15 Aug 2003 10:18:55 -0700 (PST)
From: <>

Now that I’ve come around to seeing the light, I’ll
try to define some stuff about me and what I see as
good moves in the right direction.

1. Firstly, I am not only proud that I have found
Christ, but I am deeply humbled, which should come as
no surprise to any of you who have known me during my

2. I greatly desire some way to incorporate the past
12 years of experiences I’ve collected into
identifying with this relationship to God and
Christians. I don’t want to look back and find that
all my intellectual pursuits have been a complete
waste of time.

3. I want to continue my education in a manner that
is still challenging and broad. I want to approach it
from the eyes of a Christian.

4. My history is of pride, selfishness and control.
I need to face these things. I expect to continue
facing them for a long time. Experience has shown me
so far that these three things are seriously
challenging. They are also the source of my long
denial of the Faith.

These four statements, I think, should be broad enough
that I’m not “pinning down” my plans. I want to start
off on the right foot, allowing God to guide me in the
right direction as I know is right.

Thanks for all the congrats and thank you all even
more for the prayer, love and acceptance you have
offered during my self-imposed exile. You provided me
the last key to all this in your examples. God was
willing to accept me back into his arms, and you
reflected it, in some cases daily.


That was written about 4 years and 7 months ago.

I’ve discovered new weaknesses and sins.

I’ve definitely broadened my education.

I’m vastly more humbled (and more, daily) at my condition.

I’ve found that my past is very different in meaning and significance now, especially when compared to now.

The exultant joyful feeling has mellowed.

The love has made me a totally different person.

The ability to find forgiveness is inexplicably wonderful.

So is the Lord’s grace in enabling me to repent.

I am my family’s husband and father as I never was before the fourteenth of August, four years ago.

I’m happy.

I have had four years and seven months of working to glorify God and enjoy Him.

It’s been rough, and it’s been easy, but I won’t trade those years for anything.

Praise Him.


HEATHER’S BIRTHDAY (not that one! THIS one: KAKE)


One thought on “Show and Tell 15AUG03 Time Travel

  1. This is another item I wrote up, almost a year later:

    Wed Jun 23, 2004 3:58 am

    In August of 2003 (last year), The Lord liberated me from 11 years of being an atheistic-polytheistic-pagan-bisexual-polygamous-younameit.

    I had constant battles with my wife and three kids, my cat peed on everything (Yes, this really was an issue for me, I take my cats seriously as my people), work sucked, my family was distant and I had neither direction or will.

    Up until my Mom finally sent me a book by Lee Strobel, entitled “The Case For Christ.” I’m an “intellectual,” which means everything I need to know has to be smashed into me repeatedly with a 2X4. Hence the 2X4 of faith.

    I spent the previous years, though I’d grown up in a conservative Baptist (of the Southern variety, mostly) family, avoiding Christ and the Truth because it just didn’t make any stinkin’ sense to me.

    All the “war-like” God problems, the 40 kids vs. the bears, the salvation for “inherited sin,” Adam and Eve’s impossible instigation of a curse upon the entirety of Earth’s population throughout history, and so on, were un-acceptable to me.

    The answer to all that was simply to finally understand that I am not on the throne of my life. God’s the only one qualified to run my life, and until I understood and accepted that, My problems with life and belief were impossible.

    So, enters Lee Strobel. He presented, in the 2X4 method of conviction, exactly the reasoned, literal approach to a Factual Bible I needed. In the course of a day I went from witchcraft practicing to Christ Proclaiming.

    Soon as I realized the Bible was truth, it was nothing to suddenly be able to embrace the truth of my depravity, my inability to rule my life, and the absolute necessity for Christ’s sacrifice for my sin, thereby enabling me to accept Him as Lord, Savior, and Captain of that human ship, the Rob Hickok.

    I’m not proud of the path I took as a young adult. I’m glad the Lord allowed me my choice, however, for I can (and hope I never forget) remember all the stupidity, evil and selfishness of my life. This will, with His grace, be a reminder to me and hopefully others of how NOT to get out of line with God.

    I’m proud of my Lord, now, not myself and my accomplishments. And that’s the way it should be.


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