These Are A Few Of My Horrible Things

During the course of a good conversation with a dear friend today, I was reminded that I do not regret the years I spent in witchcraft. On the contrary, I believe that one thing Wicca had then, which I’d not found prior, was a belief in and connection to the vitality which is Creation and the Creator who made it all.

I battled intensely through my 18th year of life, not really knowing what it was I was missing, with the truth of Scripture, my belief and my salvation. Call it a Luther-type period of wrestling. I did not know until years later that I was battling a christian upbringing that was practically dead; which denied the very truth about the means of God’s grace, His sacraments and even more, the truth about our spirits’ and bodies’ interconnectedness.

Needless to say, I am most grateful for the battle, the departure from mainstream evangelical baptist theology and even the years in witchcraft. Glory to God for how all his works, while mysterious, are good.

A short caveat so people don’t get the wrong idea: The Gospel was preached and the church was still the Church as I was growing up. The marks were there (Word, Sacrament, Fellowship, all that). The lack was most of all a deep love of the physical and mystical implications of Christianity. There was a weakness, a tiny, yet tidy, works-oriented, soul-denying process to salvation and the Christian life that I could not come to grips with. Roughly, it’s like not taking your kid to the doctor because you believe God will heal him.

Just a few of the horrible things I’ve learned in the past six or so years.

  1. Baptism is NOT a profession of faith.
  2. The Lord’s Supper is NOT a memorial.
  3. The Church is my mother.
  4. Theologians are good.
  5. Church Fathers are VERY GOOD.
  6. Sola Scriptura does NOT mean everything else is a false teacher.
  7. Prophets are on the pages of the Bible, not here with us today.
  8. Calvin’s Institutes, the Westminster Confession and Catechism and the Three Forms of Unity are NOT substitutes for Scripture, but if you argue with them, you’re on thin ice.
  9. Nobody, not NOBODY can say “don’t listen to those other guys – you gotta interpret the Bible for yourself!.” – See #6.
  10. Confession, The Confession of sins, corporately, and the absolution that follows is AWESOME!. One part of Roman Catholicism that should’ve survived.
  11. Body matters. Your posturing in worship, the Pastor’s animation, singing and being AWARE of the Body is essential.
  12. There are only 10 commandments. Movies, dating, beer, dancing and parties are NOT in the decalogue.
  13. A.D. 70 was prophesy. The coming rapture and tribulation are not. Jesus only comes back once. (Thank God I no longer tremble in fear when the house is empty, thinking maybe I missed the rapture).
  14. Church tradition is ESSENTIAL.
  15. If you write your own statement of faith for ordination (or for your church, for that matter), U R Doin’ it wrong. Somebody already did it for you. CREEDS and CONFESSIONS are ESSENTIAL.
  16. Young Earth Creationism is not a commandment. Nor is it a test of saving faith.
  17. My testimony is not a test of saving faith. Nor of the degree of my faith.
  18. Children’s church may be one of the worst modern inventions ever. It’s like divorce.
  19. Arminians don’t get a say about orthodoxy, sorry. Election is a fact. You don’t choose your Savior.
  20. Altar Calls are tantamount to Mom passively aggressively guilting you into eating your broccoli. Shameful.

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